The psychology of spending: how to break free from pressure to buy

Our spending habits can come from how we grow up. Research from the Money and Pensions ServiceOpens in a new window shows that our attitudes towards money start forming before the age of seven. They’re often wrapped up in feelings like envy, shame or fear.  

Some of us try and avoid looking at our banking apps, while others track every penny. It can be tricky if our spending styles clash with a new flat mate or partner.  

If you feel that you’re buying more than you need, this is known as overconsumption.  

It’s easy to fall into bad habits when shiny new things are advertised to us from all angles. Marketing often plays on our fear of missing out, and it’s often aimed at children.  

If your home is filling up while you’re worrying about money, it’s time to look at your spending habits.

Psychologists say that what money means to us depends on where it comes from or what it’s used for. They call this ‘mental accounting’.

We tend to sort our money into pots in our head and the pot we put it into changes how we spend it.  

If we win £50, we may think it’s time to treat ourselves. But if we earn £50 working extra hours, we’re more likely to spend it on the gas bill.  

You might think you’ll feel great in the latest trainers but ‘retail therapy’ is a fantasy. Shopping is not the way to long-term happiness. Most things that give us real joy do not come with a receipt.

Money can also feel different to us when we use credit rather than paying by cash. 

If you find yourself buying on impulse or getting caught up in the latest sales, then it’s time to look at your spending triggers.

Some people admit they overspend when stressed or bored. For others it’s glossy ads or social media. Recognising what makes you want to shop is the first step to managing your spending.

When you feel under pressure but can’t afford to join in, talk to friends or your partner. Most people understand if you explain your situation and suggest doing something different.

Are you more likely to have a takeaway after a tough day at work? Or online shop after an argument?

Work out your spending patterns and whether there’s any connection to your emotions. If you make plans on how to manage and spend your cash, you’re more likely to follow through.

How do your spending habits compare to the UK average?

What is your spending like?

• Do you spend more than you have?

• Does money cause you stress?

• Do you ever feel bad after buying things? 

• Are you behind on your bills or going into debt to pay them?

• Got unworn clothes in your cupboard with labels on, or DIY tools still in the box? 

Buying can become a habit. We all have different ways of coping with pressure. But shopping rarely solves problems. Overspending means more stress. 

Never shop when you’re hungry or upset.

Make a budget and track how well you keep to it. 

Pause before you spend. When you see something tempting, ask yourself why it looks good. Will it still seem special in a month? Will it stress your finances?

Some people find it helpful to make a list of things they want to buy, then look back at it in a few weeks' time. You can use your phone’s notes app if you want to save links.  

When you check the list you'll be surprised at what you don’t want any more.  

Use cash instead of cards to make spending real.

If there’s something you really want, put any money you’re tempted to use on an impulse buy into a savings pot. You can then enjoy making progress towards that target instead.  

Watching your spending does not mean the end of fun. You’ll feel better when you’re less stressed about money.

By working out what money you have each month, you’ll feel in control of your money.

Start with your regular bills. Then decide on your goals and plan for what you value.

When you find yourself wanting to hit the shops or scroll through online sales, notice how you’re feeling. Ask yourself whether you need to shop right now. Give yourself a cooling off period and only add to your shopping basket if it’s still a priority after that. 

Think about your long-term goals. Will buying now help or slow you down? 

Would you feel better if you went for a walk, called your family or met up with a friend instead?

When you want to spend, ask yourself whether you just want something, or you really need it.

Unsubscribe from email newsletters and unfollow social media accounts that make you want to shop. When you see adverts for things you’re tempted to buy, you can usually click ‘not interested’ and that should mean you don’t see the same advert again.  

Shop around for planned purchases and see if you can get something second hand. The longer you wait to buy something, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to find the right item at the right price.  

Make a wish list that fits your values and goals for the long term.

The more you learn about money, the better your decisions will be and the more control you’ll have over your future.

• Make a budget and find ways to motivate yourself to stick to it.

• How would you like your finances to look in three months, six months and a year?

• Plan a safety net for yourself so that you have money to use for emergencies like car or washing machine repairs. 

• Do not forget to budget for fun things too!  

There are lots of places to look for help if your spending is getting out of control. Find tips for managing compulsive spending on MoneyHelper or in support groups. You can also seek professional help from a debt adviser if you think you need it.  

Things you can do: 

• Join our Facebook Group on budget and savingOpens in a new window

• Set a savings goal 

• Manage your money using saving pots or piggybanks

• Prioritise your bills 

• Use credit wisely

• See advice on living on a squeezed income 

• Find a debt adviser near you.

• Make a list before you go shopping or scrolling. Did you stick to it?

• Set yourself a budget and longer-term goals.

• Use cash to help you keep to your budget.

• Make tracking your spending fun. Set yourself mini goals.  

• Spending is not the way to long-term happiness. Pause before you get your wallet out.